“Fast, Unreliable, and Occasionally Existential”
🚀 WORMHOLE TRANSIT TIMETABLE (GALACTIC STANDARD TIME)
| Route | Departure | Arrival | Freight Fee (Physical) | Freight Fee (Digital) | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Milky Way ↔ Andromeda | 47.13.3102 08:00 | 47.13.3102 08:01 | 500K Soulmarks | 5 Data Pennies | “No refunds if you arrive as a soup.” |
| Andromeda ↔ Triangulum | 47.13.3102 12:00 | 47.13.3102 12:05 | 1.2M Soulmarks | 10 Data Pennies | “Side effects may include spontaneous poetry.” |
| Triangulum ↔ Sombrero | 47.13.3102 18:00 | “When it happens” | 3M Soulmarks | 50 Data Pennies | “35% chance of arriving in a mirror universe.” |
| Sombrero ↔ Void Reach | “Pray & Wait” | “Eventually” | Priceless (or free?) | 100 Data Pennies | “Void Reach may not exist anymore. Good luck!” |
💡 SERVICES & FEES
1. Light Beam Signals (Cheap & Fast)
- Text/Data Transmission: 1 Data Penny per petabyte
- Hologram Call: 5 Data Pennies per minute
- Emergency S.O.S: Free* (Terms: Must scream in binary.)
- Digital Souls: 500 Soulmarks (“Backup recommended. Church not liable for soul-splicing.”)
2. Physical Transport (Risky & Expensive)
- Cargo (Non-Living): 100K–10M Soulmarks (“May arrive melted.”)
- Biological Passengers: 1M–100M Soulmarks (“No guarantee you’ll be the same species.”)
3. Identity Insurance (Mandatory for the Wise)
- Church of Digital Souls Package:
- Basic (1 trip): 50 Soulmarks (“Covers 73% of identity loss.”)
- Premium (Lifetime): 5K Soulmarks (“We might notice if you go missing.”)
- Uninsured? “Hope you like being a fractal.”
⚠️ DISCLAIMERS (READ OR DON’T, WE’RE NOT YOUR GODS)
- No Return Guarantee: 67% of routes are one-way-only.
- Multiverse Hazards: Your data may arrive before you sent it.
- Weirdness Included: “Passengers report: sudden jazz hands, unexplained Latin chanting, and/or becoming a chair.”
- Church of Digital Souls Not Responsible For:
- Soul erosion
- Unplanned godhood
- Being tax audited in a parallel dimension
🎟️ BOOK NOW!
Beam: WormholeWildRide AT digisoul.org
Or scream into the void until a ticket bot notices you.
“Traveling is easy. Staying yourself is the hard part.”
💀 “Customer from last week still stuck as a sentient teapot. Will update.”